I just realized that my site is all shades of depressing – which is insane, because it should be as bright as I’m feeling. Instead it’s a reflection of the drab and fuh-reeeezing weather we’ve been having in New Yawk. I get a little chilled just thinking about it. So, I decided to post one of my first photographs from when I got my camera. I love this little sucker, let me tell you. I stick in my pocket, and off I go, ready to take a snap of any old thing that catches my fancy. I’m taking it on my weekly trip to the Met tomorrow (actually, my SECOND trip, but I didn’t have proof, so I didn’t want to flaunt without anything to offer). If I can get a good shot of something without using the flash you’ll be seeing it on this site. Potentially very exciting, it is.

Right, I’ll stop talking like Yoda, and get to this photo. Like I said, it was right after I got my camera, and I went dashing around taking pictures right and left in a frenzy of photographic ecstasy. Did I mention that it was warm and bright? The brilliant thing about California, and one of things that I wish I could add to New York is the light. I swear, one of these days I’m gonna make my own little Utopia, and it’ll have all these Location Ingredients – elements from different places that I love – all of it mixed into a big stew of locale paradiso. I totally made that up.

Anyway, for those of you that are freezing your buns off… think of warmer days. They’re coming! This is a free wallpaper for anyone who wants a little sunshine on their desktops. If you don’t know how to make this your desktop… I can’t talk to you.

Name that movie.

I ambled through a muddy Central Park today, squinting in the sunshine, and tried not to get my new shoes too mucky. I ordered a pair of Keens from Zappos.com, and they arrived just in time (thanks, Zappos!) to save me from a potentially broken foot. It’s a long story, and I think I’m fine. Blah blah blah.

I came to the decision to go on a walk when I had a mini breakdown this morning that involved 20 minutes of frantic, not always coherent scribbling, tearing at my hair, and whole body restless leg syndrome. Finally, I stuffed my feet in shoes, grabbed keys and practically threw myself out the door. I still don’t know exactly what went down, but I think it was some kind of temper tantrum. I’ve read that it happens when you’re going through a creative growth spurt. I’ve had a massive upswing in creative productivity lately (hence the four days without posts), and I think that maybe I’m just detoxing from a year of artistic stagnation.

Have I scared you yet? I’m a little concerned myself – the only thing that I can tell you is that I felt incredibly liberated, and I think it was a breakthrough. To what, I don’t know yet. This city has a bizarre effect on me – all my life I’ve been good at my life. I’m relatively intelligent, well read, educated, blah, blah. I claim no credit – my parents and my very fortunate upbringing are to blame, and blame is the wrong word. But in New York City, I’m just another face. No one knows me or cares, and there is always someone with a MUCH bigger vocabulary than me. And they can probably walk in high heels – which I cannot. My point is… I’m not a lone reed – there’s a lot of other reeds, and if I want to be noticed, I’ve got to really excel – not just excel by small town standards. I LOVE THAT. So far, I haven’t. I’m enjoying being faceless, unnoticed and ignored. It’s so liberating to not have to make anyone else happy. To not be responsible for anyone but me.

So, maybe that’s where the mini breakdown came from, I don’t know. But it felt good, and I hope it takes me in a good direction.

I love this city. I knew I would, sooner than later. I spent the day doodling around the neighborhood, getting bagels and eating them sitting on a park bench in Central Park. I bought fruit at Whole Foods, and I had pizza for dinner. I just got home, and I’m sitting at my little work table, with the cool night air occasionally gusting in at me, and I love it. It was the kind of day where not much happened, but I feel so satisfied.
I love walking down the streets, being hit with all the smells – even the bad ones. I like walking by the myriad candlelit restaurants and looking at the people sitting inside, talking to each other so seriously. I love the snippets of conversation you hear on the streets, and the incredible VERBALITY (yes, that’s a real word) of people in New York.

I didn’t take this picture today, but it was another rainy day like today, and I took it from the window above my work table.

I can be fairly type A about things. I’m a perfectionist when it comes to the things I’m passionate about – my work, design, art. I like to be good at what I do. But it’s been a really long week. Two hours into my workday I found myself suddenly drained. Right now I feel about as energetic as a whole roll of toilet paper that got dropped in the toilet. If there’s a spectrum of personalities, and Type A is the most uptight and motivated, today I’m feeling very Type Z.
If I were a noodle, I would not be al dente right now.

I went to Anaheim this past weekend for CHA, and it was great. The first night there, we went to dinner at Tortilla Jo’s in Downtown Disney, which as you probably know, is not actually IN Disneyland, but on the very cusp of the Happiest Place on Earth. It’s a little weird to treck down to the very cusp of something, and then instead of going in, take a right and stop for some tamales.

That being said, it was lovely warm weather, and I love the sparkly trees.