My blog is going through issues. As you can probably see.

It’s an awkward teenager, and it hasn’t grown into itself. At least it is growing though… and in spite of the redundant Tao of Tai header that I’m still trying to get rid of, it’s looking better. At least I got rid of the dreaded purple. That was a mistake, no doubt.

I’m dying of boredom. The worst part is that it’s a busy boredom. I’ve got plenty to do, but I could care less about any of it. I’m not slacking off. My heart just isn’t in it.

I’ve got to get my apartment and life organized before school starts up again on Tuesday. I’ve got to have all my ducks in a row, or I’ll start off bad, and I can’t afford that. It’s a 4.0 this semester, baby! I got a 3.4 this last term, which irks me.

I’m actually pretty psyched about my classes. I’m taking two painting classes and a Marketing Management class. The plan is to get a master’s degree in marketing, so that will be a good start.

I must stop yawning.

* Note: I just viewed this site on another browser, and YES!!! I got rid of the stupid redundant header. So in spite of my kvetching, it should look just fine. Mostly.

Nigella Lawson wrote a lovely cookbook by this name. (Just giving her credit straight off.)

I don’t want to work. I don’t want to go to school. I want to stay home, and clean my apartment and cook. At this point, I would wrestle a ferocious bobcat to be allowed to stay home and not be a career woman/student for a week or two.

Note that I say a week or two. I would quickly get very bored, and start working on something else. I picked this up from my mother. Even on her days off I have never seen her veg out. She’s always busy, busy, busy.

I haven’t always been like this. It’s been said of me that if I were able to relax any more I would become comatose. But I’m finding as I get older that I am less inclined to sit still. I have a running list of things that need to be done scrolling by on a mental ticker, and it gnaws at me. That sounds morbid, but how else to put it?

I made the mistake of watching a show about wedding planners last night (Who’s Wedding Is It Anyway?) and I had a terrible dream. I dreamed that I was supposed to get married today and I had totally forgotten. I didn’t know who I was marrying, my parents came into town for the event, and I didn’t even know if I had a dress that would fit me. Someone at work had made my wedding invitations and they were so ugly! There was nobody to do my hair, and I hadn’t even showered yet. Vanessa was gone to class, and I could not for the life of me remember who I was marrying! I basically freaked out and burst into tears. I woke up with a massive headache.

My blog is ugly. I’m playing with the design, and working with code… I used to do this all the time, and learned HTML back in the dinosaur years of web design (give me some credit, I was 15). I let it slide because I was enamored of WSYWIGs… but then I didn’t get the update to Dreamweaver whatever.0 and just let it slide. It’s tragic, really.

I just need to figure it out. In the meantime, bear with me and my ugly blog. Someday it will be beautiful, I promise.

I’ve been good. I’ve started unpacking (after giving up for a few days out of frusteration) and I’m beginning to see the light. I still have piles of small stuff in the hallway and into my room that need to be sorted and found places for.

Work is getting a little tedious. I really like my job, and I love the people I work with and for. But more and more, I’m just not finding it very challenging, and even if there was room for advancement, I’m not sure I want it. The dynamics of the company have changed – for the better, I have no doubt. But I’ve never been a fan of rigid structures. I’m incredibly lucky that they’ve been so kind and let me work and do school at the same time, but I don’t know how long I’ll be around after school ends.

So to prepare against the inevitable job change financial slump, Vanessa and I have decided to formally launch the wedding invitation business. 4th and 7th is a company we started about three years ago to sell her cards, and my designs, and beyond buying the domain name, and paying for a monthly site fee, we’ve never really done anything with it. But we’ve done lots and lots of wedding invitations for friends, so it’s time to do it formally.

Wish us luck!

I’m so excited about the return of Fall. It is my favorite time of year.

My favorite things about Fall:
1. Scarves.
2. Jackets.
3. No more flipflops.
4. The Sunday afternoon drive up Provo Canyon to see the colors.
5. BYU campus on a crispy day. So *gag*… I know. But there is something about it… if the bell tower is going off, it’s even better. Makes me feel like I’m in a movie.
6. Halloween (and therefore, the movie Hocus Pocus).
7. Thanksgiving – at home. No one does Thanksgiving right but my mother.
8. Library trips. I visit the library year round, but seriously. It’s all just better in the fall.
9. Bookstores. See #8.
10. Williams-Sonoma.
11. The leaves. I just love ‘em.
12. Reading. It’s the best time to read the classics. Dickens, Dostoyevsky, and Shakespeare – they all read better in the fall. With the exception of Midsummer’s Night’s Dream. But try reading Macbeth on a hot summer’s day. It just does not work.
13. Pumpkins and other squash
14. Cooking. I’m a better cook in cold weather.
15. The September issue of Vogue.
16. Back to school. I hate school — during finals. But I love the beginning of new classes and how much possibility there is.
17. Jazz parties. It’s more of a late summer thing, but I’m counting it.
18. Lights.
19. Decorating for Christmas.
20. Baking. I can’t make cookies (don’t like them) but I love making bread and cakes.
21. School supplies.
22. And art supplies. Mmm.
23. Shopping.
24. The cinnamon scented pinecones they have at Walmart. They put a big bin of them next to the checkout counter, and you see people buying things like candles, spices, and sweetened condensed milk. It’s blatant customer manipulation, but I love it.
25. Candles, spices, and sweetened condensed milk.
26. Niurou mian (beef noodle soup). When we lived in Beijing, my sister Chere and I used to run across the street when it was cold outside, and share a big bowl of it. I found a strange little Taiwanese restaurant that does a very good immitation of it. Chere is on a mission now, but when she gets back we get to go again.
27. Anything British is better in the fall.
28. Boots and high heels. I always wear them in the fall.
29. Curling up on the couch in my hugh-robe and slippers. This is a lovely tradition started by my Manda-friend, who married a “Bad Weed”. Toasted bagel halves with cream cheese are optional, but divine.
30. When Vanessa gets her Christmas Village out of the storage unit and tries to fit them into the tiny living room.
31. Our unfailingly terrible Halloween parties. Our problem is that we don’t invite anyone we don’t like, and we’re very picky.
32. Spray painting boxwood sprigs with silver paint for a Thanksgiving centerpiece. I’ve done it every year for a while now.
33. The ineveitable wriggling out of uncomfortable invitations for Thanksgiving dinner. If it’s not my mother’s, I just want to do the best approximation of it on my own.
34. Making pies. I’m very good at it.
35. Stephen’s Gourmet Hot Chocolate.
36. Christmas music.
37. The amazing Pavarotti.
38. The smells.

Here is a little excerpt from Wikipedia about Fall (or Autumn):

Autumn’s association with the transition from warm to cold weather in the northern hemisphere, and its related status as the season of the primary harvest, has dominated its themes and popular images. In Western cultures, personifications of Autumn are usually pretty, well-fed females adorned with fruits, vegetables and grains that ripen at this time. Most ancient cultures featured autumnal celebrations of the harvest, often the most important on their calendars. Still extant echoes of these celebrations are found in the late-Autumn Thanksgiving holiday of the United States, the Jewish Sukkot holiday with its roots as a full moon harvest festival of “tabernacles” (huts wherein the harvest was processed and which later gained religious significance), the many North American Indian festivals tied to harvest of autumnally ripe foods gathered in the wild, the Chinese Mid-Autumn or Moon festival, and many others. The predominant mood of these autumnal celebrations is a gladness for the fruits of the earth mixed with a certain melancholy linked to the imminence of harsh weather. Remembrance of ancestors is also a common theme.

When the stress of work and school screaches to a halt, what do you do with yourself? I’m not used to this kind of relaxation.

I have to give a talk on Sunday. Which I’m ok with, but I have no idea what to talk on. I’m a little freaked out about that.